Yeah, I know you hear it too…
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
So who are these crazy Canucks who have given up successful careers as emergency responders, then gone and kidnapped their kids from school to play endless days of hookie…
A day in which liberty is taken upon oneself to exclude themself from school or work obligations while, most likely, pretending to be sick or having a death in the family. Usually this time is spent with a significant other (i.e. hookie for nookie), a sports activity (i.e. golf or playstation), or just plain sitting on ones ass all day editing & writing definintions for modern slang words over the internet. Commonly referred to as “playing hookie“.
Oh, it’s the Bayer Family of course!
Mike Bayer – Skipper (of the dingy) & Web Dude
Overweight, overworked and under beered…speaking of which…
Work hard, play hard are the words Mike lives by.
After 11 years as a Firefighter, kicking down doors and kissing babies, it’s time for a course change…
Mike likes a challenge and there is nothing more challenging than to isolate himself on a boat with a wife and 2 daughters who are going to grow up and probably end up cycling at the same time.
He has a long rope to tow the dingy far behind the boat and explore the world from this quiet vantage point while watching the fireworks.
Fix his engine and he’ll travel for another few weeks but give him a wrench and he’ll accidentally drop it in the water and be stuck till someone else tries to do something silly like that again.
On a more serious note… let’s meet Andrea.
Andrea Bayer – “Mike I don’t need a silly title“
Overweight, overworked and under beered…speaking of which…
…oh that was a bad copy/paste mistake there!
Beautiful, radiant and with an elegance that can only be achieved by having your sh!t together… is not how we would describe Andrea…ok we’ll leave the beautiful in!
With the kind of humor that would make Rodney Dangerfield blush and a wit as sharp as a razor, Andrea is a danger to herself and others. We hate to imagine how this will rub off on the kids.
Andreas love of international food and drink is a passion that strays on the wrong side of the line and she is forever craving the next new delicacy. From Foie gras to squid ink Paella there is nothing on a plate…or in a champagne flute that gets past this woman.
If she is not getting an extra shade darker in the sun then you’ll find her digging that lost ice cream tub out of the very back of the freezer…you know the one that has had 1 scoop of ice cream left that has turned into a crystalized science experiment.
Oh and she’s a mum!
Arya Bayer – Chief Of The Boat… Drama Department
6 going on 16, the precocious Arya is always the last to get out of bed and the first to ask if we are nearly there yet!
A fierce Muay Thai fighter and expert at the ‘rear naked choke‘ (which is why Daddy never turns his back on her) Arya’s ability to demonstrate mixed martial arts on her sister takes helicopter parenting to a whole new level.
Sharp as a tack and with a memory like an elephant she is always a daily source of wonder when she likes to ask us why we didn’t so something we promised 6 months ago and when are we going to raise her allowance so she can start her own internet business.
Arya (Ah-ri-ya) will be the first to turn a cardboard box into a maximum security prison cell for her sister to play house with the other inmates she has collected from around the boat. The prison break is always entertaining with an explosion of toys and a thoroughly pissed off Isla!
Isla Bayer – The Spirit Animal
Oh Isla! (Eye-La)
Picture Joni Mitchell (the original hippie flower girl) meets Mother Theresa. To say that Isla is a bleeding heart is an understatement. We have no idea how we are going to catch fish with this crusader trying to protect the earth and every creature.
This is a girl with a free spirit like you have never seen. We are sure she will reach full enlightenment before she hits puberty. If we ever get the chance to take her to Burning Man she would be adopted as the official mascot.
Cute as a button and able to carve up the dancefloor like Shakira she will be a big hit in the beach bars of the world. Watch out if she gets ahold of the playlist though because it will be an Avicii marathon punctuated with the occasional hit from Sesame Street.
Isla is the unicorn of the family. Absolutely fabulous and poops rainbows.